The Positive Side

Summer 2011 

David Hoe (Fall/Winter 2005)

Age: 67
Ottawa
Life coach, volunteer, lover
Living with HIV since 1985
CD4 count: 760
Viral load: undetectable

“A man committed to transformational change and love.”

How would you describe your health?
Very good but with joint pain and treatment-induced peripheral neuropathy that still are pains in the proverbial.

Are you experiencing any health issues from HIV or your HIV treatment?
I’m not sure if it’s HIV-related, but I’m very concerned about memory and cognitive issues.

You appeared on the cover of the Fall/Winter 2005 issue, in which you were interviewed about sexual health. How is your sex life these days?
My sex life is evolving into deeper intimacy now that I am in a monogamous relationship. Merging our two erotic fields of different generations and cultures on a regular basis is like all other aspects of intimacy — it is a constant exploration of play, spirit, stewardship and keeping it alive; sometimes it’s messy and not always to do with fluids. However, one of the joys of aging is enhanced sexual fantasies, which teachings say I should anticipate getting even stronger as I age. Also, I’m still in pursuit of liberated erotic energy and am now more spiritual.

Since you appeared on the cover in 2005, what has changed for you personally?

  1. I entered a monogamous relationship three years ago with an HIV-negative partner and got married in South Africa in 2008. There’s a significant difference in our ages, so we both stretch into generational understanding.
  2. I created a new career totally based on my passions and trained as a life coach. I now have a successful business.
  3. I have renewed energy for HIV volunteer work, locally and provincially.
  4. I entered conscious elderhood.
  5. I bought a new house.
  6. My partner came with a dog, who is a master teacher in forgiveness.

In one word, describe this moment in AIDS.
Expanding.

Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Impishly sublime with a somewhat creaky body, still building a meaningful life.

What song is the soundtrack of your life?
“Somewhere” by Bernstein and Sondheim.